The most perfect way to propose!

Ok. Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the fiancee of David Ochoa. 

*you may now pause the theme song music going through your head. I'm not creative enough to keep that going...*

So I went to Mexico to teach at the Mexico City Missionary Training Center (MTC, or CCM in Spanish). I got to teach missionaries and was an amazing opportunity to learn and grow and have a blast. 

But I also missed a certain someone. 

We skyped every day and it was completely normal... and a ton of fun. I looked forward to coming home after teaching two shifts to relax and talk to Mr. David for an hour...or two... or five.

And I was there for 6 weeks... longest transfer of my life. 

And I came home yesterday (October 16)! I had tons of butterflies! Was wondering, oh man, wait, what if he proposes when I get off the Frontrunner (train)? That'd be insane. We had decided a while ago that we wanted to get married January 3 because of various family/scheduling reasons. Which means we'd have to get engaged QUICK when I get home and start planning everything. So it was very probable, considering how anxious he was to get the ball rollin, that he'd drop a knee right at the train station!

Nope. He showed up 2 minutes after I got off. No proposal. 

It was SO awesome seeing him... but it was seriously the most surreal thing ever. Didn't seem like it was real... or even if I had been in Mexico... seemed normal yet so foreign to be with him all at the same time! Also, since I'd been living practically like a missionary, I felt slightly guilty for a hug and kiss from him... I got over that soon though. ;) 

Also did I mention I'd only slept one hour in a 24hr period? Yeah... wide awake as soon as I saw him jump out of his car. Never felt tired after that. Insert cheesy heart symbol made with < and 3 here. 

So my guard was let down a bit and I realized it might be a different day that he proposed. No worries! I was cool with it! I was back with David, who cares when?? We went to Zupa's, one of our favorite places to eat, then went to his house and hung out with his family. 

(That's his brother Jared and wife Rio, David, me (future wife!!!), and his parents a few months back)

And his hair was super long so I cut it. He attacked me with all the little hairs and I got covered in nastiness. Hmmph. 

Then he told me he was kidnapping me. He said he had a little surprise for me today, then a bigger surprise later in the week. So my thought was, Oh ok, so he's just got something planned tonight but he'll be proposing in a few days. No big deal. Again, completely oblivious. Which is hard because I am known for scheming and executing mischievous plans. And it's hard to pull the wool over my eyes... well... good thing he knows me well. He got me GOOD.

So he said we need a coat and flashlight, and I didn't have any because I'd just come from the amazing spring-like 70 degree weather of Mexico City.

So he let me borrow a coat that drowned me. I didn't mind. 

And we headed to Provo Canyon. Went to the first park on the left, to be honest, I have no idea what it's called. Not relevant. You're not reading this for those kind of details. And he tells me to get in the backseat of the car. I was like... you're staying in the front seat right? He looked it me as if to say, "Really? Who do you think I am? Why would that even be an option?" Haha. I love how much he sticks to what he believes is right. 

So yeah, he pulled out an envelope with the number 1 one on it. Said, ok... you're going to get a few envelopes tonight... with emphasis on tonight which made it sound like this was going to be over the course of a few days, probably leading up to some magical awesome proposal Thursday or Friday or Saturday... 

He said.. ok, inside this envelope there are puzzle pieces. Put it together - GO!

And so here I am in the backseat of the car, with him turned around in the driver's seat, and shining a flashlight app on his phone so I could see. It was hilarious. (In hindsight I think he chose the car because it was FREEZING outside in the canyon last night). 

 The pieces made a puzzle with pictures of two very special moments for us. One was jet skiing in California while singing "our song", and the other was when we hiked Bridal Veil Falls (that's really the name of it, don't snicker). 

Here's the pic of the first puzzle: 

Then he said, Um... it's hard doing puzzles in the backseat. So we went to the picnic tables. And of course had music going. And got distracted for a bit by dancing to some of our tunes. And a hug or two... and stuff.

But he gave me another envelope with "2" written on it. Inside were more puzzle pieces and they made a drawing of two more special moments for us... when we'd only been dating one month and I played him a song on the guitar that I changed the lyrics to (who knew I'd become a romantic, knowing me before, eh? )... and also when we celebrated dating 6 months and had a magical time on a ferris wheel. 

Here's puzzle numero dos

Then he said, close your eyes, and played a song that was talking about how he chooses me, and walked me back to the car with my eyes closed. He grabbed something out of the glove box, then led me back to the picnic tables. Said he forgot something. But... yeah, my suspicions were up. I secretly hoped this was it. 

Then he handed me a third envelope with, you guessed it, "3" written on it. But there was another envelope written "ME". He said he had his own puzzle but I wasn't allowed to look at it. I said that that wasn't fair since he already knew what the picture was, he'd finish before me. Haha. 

So mine was only half of a puzzle. And this is what it looked like... we celebrated 8 months dating while I was in Mexico. One time when we were skyping we just realized that we wanted to go through with this and after that we started planning details over long distance. 

Here ya go: 

(The little arrow says, "my bed, btw"... what a goof haha)

(By the way, I love the artwork on this, seriously. He's super talented and good at spacial drawing.. which probably isn't even a word but hey! No wonder he's going into drafting/civil engineering, smarty pants.. ok.. bragging done.)

And then he said, ok. Wanna see my half? 

BOOM. "Ring here - Oct 16, 2013". My stomach launched a multitude of mariposas. 

So he slid the pictures all together. 

Then flipped them over. 

(I like the little question mark tucked into the exclamation mark.. it's almost like.. please, with the question mark, or I mean, "WOULD YOU MARRY ME ALREADY?" with the exclamation mark.)

And then BAM. Popped out the box, etc. Didn't drop a knee cuz it was freezing. I don't think it's really all that crucial. 

It was seriously the most perfect proposal for me, and us.

So... save the date because on January 3, 2014, I shall have the privilege of marrying one of the most brave, smart, funny, genuine, devoted, faithful, patient, wise, attractive, respectful, honest, high-quality men for all eternity!  Not just this life but even after this life we'll be together thanks to getting married in the LDS temple! He was so patient with me this whole time and now his perseverance and optimism has paid off for both of us! He can't get rid of me now. I'm in it for the win.

(more later on how we met... stay tuned!)

I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, 

To sit on my throne with David, uh, combing my hair... ? ... 

um... k.. Will Smith did it better. 

.bucket update.

Three years ago I made a bucket list (you can read it here). Hopefully it's been updated! I added new things in a different color:

-read El libro de Mormon completamente
check. Multiple times.

--finish Preach My Gospel
check. multiple times.

--serve a mission
check. Spain Madrid Mission. Here's my mission blog. Got home July 2012. And I'd like to go back

--serve a mission with my husband someday

--get endowed
check. October 23, 2010

--get autism-therapist experience.
Semi-check. I worked as an ABA tutor with a cute little boy named Caleb. But I actually don't want to continue with ABA. I took a few classes from Dr. Brent Slife at BYU which have changed my philosophy about autism therapy. I believe in drama therapy as a great alternative.... which leads me to....

--SENSE theatre
It's now relocated to Tennessee.... which would be great except.... it's Tennessee.
But I've found a TON of programs all around the country that I'm looking in to!

--travel to a foreign country (probably spanish speaking)
check! Spain - the original Spanish-speaking country! 

--travel to Peru - attend the Trujillo temple dedication

--travel to Ecuador - and visit the Otavalo people

--travel to Bolivia -

--travel to Argentina

--travel to Australia - and take a picture to prove they spelled Sydney wrong

--travel to Nigeria

--travel to England 
--travel to Portugal

--continue with the research study
Check! I finished working with them before my mission.

--keep going at Independent Study and get promoted
I was promoted to trainer before my mission... now I'm back there and demoted. =)

--stage manage

--try my hand at directing

--get back into creative writing 
Wrote an EPIC 14 page progressive story with my friend Rich Ashton. Maybe I'll post that in a future blog.

--learn guitar
Same friend Rich taught me "When You Say Nothing At All". And I know two hymns. Practically a pro.

--get back into piano
Ha. I played almost every week on my mission - either district meetings or church meetings.

--take an animation class

--see the Manti Pageant
Check! 

--be an EFY counselor 
I applied in 2010 and they never got back to me. maybe in the future.... but not this year.

--have a boyfriend 

--get married (if I have a choice, in the Oakland or Sacramento temples)\

--graduate BYU

--ride in a hot air balloon

--be in four states at once (4 corners)

--meet the President of the United States

--have a food fight

--find P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney

--festival of colors in India

--spend Christmas in summer climate

--carve my initials in a tree with that future boyfriend of mine

--be part of a flash mob

--fall in love 

--do a road trip around the U.S. and visit as many temples as possible

--see the Rome LDS temple

--be a voice over actor

We'll see if I update it with more things later!


 

.desires.

I've been thinking about desires lately. What causes a desire? What makes us follow through on desires? Why do we abandon our desires? Are some desires of higher value or worth than others? Does God approve of all desires?
I am not going to spend time on the sexual nature of some desires. Everyone knows those are natural, but should be used wisely. Desires are subject to laws and commandments. That's part of the progress that the Gospel talks about - we have to use the Atonement to harness our desires, and make God's desires become our desires. That is a sign that we love God and want to serve Him - when we give up our "poor" desires and take on His "higher" desires.

But how do you tell if your good desire is something He desires or not? When you have to choose between two good desires, which one does He wish that you would choose? How do you reconcile yourself to His will when you're not sure if either of them fit, or which one fits His will? I am under the very strong belief that the Lord teaches us correct principles so that we can govern ourselves. We are given agency - we have the power to choose whether to follow His commandments or not to. It's black and white. If we choose to follow Him, we are demonstrating a desire to follow His will, to take on His desire.

So because of this, the Lord is happy when we are following His commandments. They are set up to protect, bless and teach us. I feel strongly that there is not one set course that we are meant to follow in our mortal lives. The Lord sees our lives kind of as a "make your own ending" - when we use our agency, He finds ways to teach us the lessons that we need to learn in the circumstances that we've chosen. Again, this is all assuming we've made good choices in line with His principles, doctrine and commandments.

All this spurred because I am currently trying to take some big steps in my life. One big choice is whether to abandon everything I've been doing here at school and go for a year and a half to some undetermined place in the world to preach the true Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have a very strong desire to do so, to serve others and bring happiness and peace and comfort to a troubled world. But a part of me wants to make sure that is what the Lord would have me do. I realize now, though, based on my thoughts above, that He is probably not going to give me a huge green light saying, Yes, now! Go!

What I've decided is to make sure the Spirit is close to me at all times. That way I can get used to feeling the Spirit all the time, or as much as I am humanly and fallibly possible. I'll also keep working in the direction of going on a mission. If it's wrong, I'll know. He won't let me do something that I'm not supposed to do.

It's a good spot in life to be in - choosing between two good things. So no complaints. =]

.shallow waters.

Alert: This is a very selfish blog.

I'm so sick of boys not caring. I'm doing my very best to be the best person I can be. And I feel like no one is noticing that. I'm sick of boys being shallow. I'm sick of the same pattern over and over: "I really think she's cool and an amazing girl, but I'm not sure why I'm not interested in her." What is that? Why don't guys like me? Why don't they know why they don't like me?

Is it looks? If so, how freaking shallow is that? No, I'm not gorgeous. But I'm not HIDEOUS either... It's like I repel them or something. I try to have a good sense of humor and personality around guys - they bring out the best in me usually. So maybe there's some huge physical feature I need to change. Or maybe I'm not seeing something in my personality that I'm not already aware of.

But holy crap. I'm so sick of this. I know I'm still young but most people at my age have at least had something. The closest I got.. well... it's still complicated with him. I'm worried that I'm so frustrated with everything that I'll just settle for him.

I am trying to fill my life with other things so that I can have a real life. Especially if I'm going to be living alone for most of my life...

Geez. It's a miracle anyone gets married.

Rant partially over for now.

Peace.

.bucket list.

So a while ago, I created this bucket list. I added things to it after I posted the blog. But I have updates!



--read El libro de Mormon completamente
i stopped for a bit but I just picked it back up again!

--finish Preach My Gospel

--mission

--get endowed
started learning more and more about temples

--get autism-therapist experience.
I GOT A JOB WORKING WITH AN AUTISTIC BOY. I love it

--SENSE theatre
I sent them my resume

--travel to a foreign country (probably spanish speaking)

--continue with the research study
Check!

--keep going at Independent Study and get promoted
I have come to terms that I may not get promoted soon, but I am still working hard.

--stage manage

--try my hand at directing

--get back into creative writing
I signed up for Creative Writing but then had to drop it from my schedule. I am taking that before I graduate, though
--learn guitar

--get back into piano
ha, I got a calling. and it's Relief Society pianist.

--take an animation class

--see the Manti Pageant
Check!

--be an EFY counselor

--have a boyfriend*

I love seeing how much I've accomplished.
I could add more goals for now, but that may be a bit ambitious... for now.


For many years I have not really given much thought into peoples' interpretations of my actions. I have not given much weight in how they view me, how they interpret what I say and do/ don't do. I am considerate of others and try to treat everyone with respect and (platonic) love. But I have not bothered to wonder whether people are interpreting, viewing me in the right way.

I have come to realize over the past few months (and definitely in the past few days) that peoples' views are incredibly different. Some people can't find a fault (how in error they are). Some can't place a finger on a fault, but know that it's there. Some invent faults that I may or may not have. Some ignore my strengths and focus on my faults. Some don't even give it that much thought - they don't care to search for my strengths or my faults.

This isn't coming across very articulately. What I basically am saying is that it's all subjective and all up to interpretation.

Maybe that's a good thing.

But in matters of love, it's incredibly frustrating.

In matters of the Gospel, thank goodness the only One whose judgment matters is a perfect judge.

.bucket list.

I've got things I want to do. I put them on my Bucket List... things I want to do before I kick the bucket... Actually I'd say Diploma List...things I want to do before I graduate.


--read El libro de Mormon completamente

--finish Preach My Gospel

--mission

--get endowed

--get autism-therapist experience.

--SENSE theatre

--travel to a foreign country (probably spanish speaking)

--continue with the research study

--keep going at Independent Study and get promoted

--stage manage

--try my hand at directing

--get back into creative writing

--learn guitar

--get back into piano

--take an animation class

--see the Manti Pageant

--be an EFY counselor

--have a boyfriend*


*Marriage is floating between graduation and post-graduation. Whenever it comes, that's fine with me. As long as it's not within the year. That's too soon for me. That could be my fault though.

**This list subject to lengthening, never shortening.

.self.

Today I felt really close to myself today. My sister sent me a letter. In the envelope was a sealed envelope that read: "Don't open until Feb 2009"! It was a letter I wrote to myself two years ago as a senior in high school. Here's what part of it said:

Please, I hope as you're reading this, you have a lot of good friends around you. Maybe you'll be married. I highly doubt. My 17-year-old self fo' sho' isn't ready. Maybe you are. Please, if you're not reading your scriptures, do it. I haven't been and I think that's why I'm just so depressed and, well, I don't know the word. I guess empty. Pray to Heavenly Father. Even if you're not alone, He will still be there for you.
Take care! (Weird, I won't exist when you read this. Only in your mind...and in your heart). <3, Sydnee - Age 17.

That last bit really hit me. I felt like one of those movies where it's a split-reality. Like my old self was watching me as I read it. I wonder if we saw the whole part of our lives before we came to Earth. If we could see every decision that we'd end up making. If we could see how our agency would play out. I know Heavenly Father could see that - did He let us see that too? Was I fully aware of every single decision I'd be making if I came to Earth? Did I watch myself write this blog?

Who knows. All I know is, I want to make sure I keep living so that I make my 17-year-old, as well as my -2938485992 year-old self (pre-mortal) proud. I want to make sure I please my Father in Heaven most of all. And I'm going to do that the best that I can. Right alongside His Son.